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Emerging Adulthood - A term used in scientific circles, especially in developmental psychology, which describes encompassing the increasing temporal shift of marriage and family planning and the changes in their status. All right, all right. So science is already accepting what still seems unacceptable to some part of society.
At the age of 16 I once told someone that my big dream was to live somewhere by the sea, maybe the Caribbean, in a small house, preparing fresh, not yet genetically modified food every day; maybe a man by my side, maybe not, and maybe children's laughter in my ear that fills my heart because it's our child, or maybe not. The main & most important thing was somewhere else. Somewhere else than here stuck in this search for the feelings of happiness and detachment from the triviality of everyday life in which I was trapped.
I wanted to have it differently from what I had around me, because my whole environment seemed to be so mediocre to me and mediocrity, as I knew it, was full of mindless consumption. This kind of excessive consumption, in turn, only fills holes that we have developed through loneliness and passivity. But we let ourselves be told what to stuff them with and believe that these are our own desires and needs: Fast food, party, alcohol, drugs. They all release endorphins to show ourselves that we’re not completely passive yet. So yes, I wanted to escape.
But over the years, I should learn that change and happiness take place in my own mind, not in the country or city I lived.
The big plan...
School, university, work and then starting a Family. That’s the big plan, right? But what if, along the way, you realize that you are becoming more and more alienated from yourself by trying to be the way others expect you to be? Then we have only one thing to do – stop looking at everyone else and start listening to our own desires.
What happens if we fail? As simple as it sounds, nothing happens.
The constant concern for negative consequences can lead us precisely to fall into the seemingly protective but false shell of consumption. It often seems lucrative to continue what you already know. In doing so, we take the opportunity to grow, to learn new things and to unleash our inherent potential which is waiting to be discovered from ourselves. I don’t have to dream of something completely different in the Anywhere-Else-Just-Not-Here in order to live the life that I want to choose and shape for myself, because that’s the beauty of all the ,,Ifs“ and ,,Buts“: When we face up to them nothing happens except of a new experience. Sometimes this can be a life-changing, positive experience or an experience that may not feel good in the short term, but has made us a lot wiser in the long term - even at the risk of not getting the support of all people. Only then we can see who accepts us as we are and who accompanies us on our path. We get a little more certainty that it is ultimately these people who make our lives more colourful.
Just let us be ourselves...
We do not need condemning question